Neonate's Rush [Innistrad: Double Feature] Shapeshifter Pirate everyone wins

everyone wins

Set: The List Type: Legendary Creature — Human Wizard Rarity: Rare Cost: {2}{U}{U} Flash

choose one—

instead put the chosen cards onto the battlefield or into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order

It's so infinite that its flavor text says

Neonate's Rush [Innistrad: Double Feature] Shapeshifter Pirate everyone winsSet: Innistrad: Double Feature Type: Instant Rarity: Common Cost: {2}{R} This spell costs {1} less to cast if you control a Vampire. Neonate's Rush deals 1 damage to target creature and 1 damage to its controller. Draw a card. "We spend our entire existence pursuing the joy of our first night's feast." Anje Falkenrath